Self-esteem is not just an internal sense of worth; it also influences how we interact with others, especially in leadership situations. Here, we break down the journey from false self-esteem to grounded and genuine self-esteem in four steps.
Step 1: False Self-Esteem in Leadership
In this first step, the leader builds their self-worth by inflating their ego and constructing a protective wall of fear. Defence mechanisms kick in to preserve this fragile ego, making it challenging to accept feedback without seeing it as criticism. Healthy leadership is built on mutual respect and open communication, which needs to be improved here. The leader only sees value in team members who follow precisely the leader's wants, creating an uneven and insecure work environment.
Step 2: Doubt and Humility
In the second step, the leader begins to doubt themselves but still shows humility towards others. The leader realises that to feel valuable, one must have genuine value for others. However, the leader allows others to cross their boundaries since their internal self-esteem is still weak. Self-empathy becomes essential but is challenging to find. This can lead to the leader constantly being in a compromising position, where their needs are set aside for others.
Step 3: Practical Exercises and Psychological Safety
The leader has implemented practical exercises to strengthen their self-leadership and the team's psychological safety. Even though doubt persists in some situations, there are also "safe spots" where the leaders can be themselves and feel accepted. The leader understands that empathy for oneself is crucial, even though feeling it is still challenging. This is a transitional phase where awareness of the importance of self-esteem has increased, but the inner journey continues.
Step 4: Grounded and Genuine Self-Esteem
In the fourth and final step, the leader has a stable and grounded self-esteem. The leader dares to be authentic and open to feedback from team members. This does not mean the leader never has bad days or doubts, but there are tools to handle these feelings. The leader is also aware of what motivational factors are essential for team members, creating a culture of trust and openness.
Conclusion
The journey from false to genuine self-esteem requires time, reflection, and work. Leaders can strengthen their self-esteem and create a positive and supportive work environment for everyone by being aware of where one is on this journey. Empathy for oneself and others, open communication, and authenticity are key components in this work.